The first time I had the thought, “is this real?”, was the day we moved into our new house. My daughters were strapped into their car seats in the back of the van. My oldest pointed out the window with big eyes, “Mommy, new house!” I watched as my husband backed the U-Haul into the long winding driveway, and thought, “Wow. Is this real?” My heart exploded with happiness.
It’s not that life is perfect now. In fact, this year has been one of the hardest seasons of my life. Two young kids under the age of 3. My husband’s cancer diagnosis. The stress, and excitement of moving into a new home. Not to mention everyday life: family obligations, grocery store runs, cleaning, cooking, working, and trying to maintain a healthy body for myself while caretaking for two little ones and supporting my husband through his cancer treatments. Life has been hard too.
Since the move-in day though, I’ve continued to stop and think, “Wow. This can’t be real. I feel so grateful to be here. I feel…happy.” When we’ve hiked through the woods and the sun catches through the trees just right. The first big snowfall, when we ran through the freshly laid snow, the girls happily being pulled along in the sled. A quiet walk up my driveway, as my dog darts around the yard. The quietness of a morning on the patio.
Sometimes the feeling of happiness and awe is followed by sadness. The dreamy-perfect moment will not last. The heaviness of knowing there will be more hardship, and more heartache in life. But when I take a moment to stop, breathe, and take a long hard look at what’s in front of me with a heart of total gratitude: it eases the ache of hard, troubled days.
Beautifully written! One can totally relate to feeling the gratitude even in the rough times in life.