It was the end of another day at home with my kids. I was picking up the playroom and my husband was managing bedtime upstairs with our oldest daughter. I heard her yell down the steps, “Momma! I want Baa Baa!” I sifted through the toys scattered on the floor and located her special lovey.
Baa Baa is a stuffed sheep she received as a baptism gift from her godparents, my sister, and her husband. My daughter has a lot of stuffed animals. There was no particular reason this became a special stuffed animal (or a “lovey” as they call it.) When she was a little over one, we started putting stuffed animals in her crib and Baa Baa was the first one she preferred. She’d point and say, “Baa Baa.” Since then, Baa Baa has been safely tucked under her arm every night. We consider it her first lovey.
I located Baa Baa in the playroom and when I picked it up, I noticed something. Baa Baa was a little limp, the stuffing settled and the fur appeared a bit worn. I examined it more closely, noticing pilling and some light stains on the trotters (sheep feet). I realized then just how loved this stuffed animal has been for two years.
The next day, I decided Baa Baa needed a cleaning. I carefully checked for holes, did my best to fluff up the stuffing, and give it a thorough spot clean. There is something special about tending to a toy your child admires. My daughter watched me. When I set Baa Baa in another room to dry, she came back to me frequently asking if “she” was ready yet. When I finally handed Baa Baa back to her, she gleamed: “Mommy! Baa Baa is clean!”
This isn’t a milestone I hear about often: when you realize your child has their first special attachment to a toy or blanket. I’ll admit without embarrassment, I still have my own special blanky. I don’t sleep like it every night like I used to (up until my early 20s even!) But, when I do come across it, I take a moment to hold it and remember how special it’s been in my life, and the comfort it offered me many times growing up.
When I was little, I remember having anxiety about school and ended up cutting a corner of my blanky off to take with me to school. My mom stitched the blanky corner back together for me. Over the years, she’d occasionally take blanky for a wash and mend holes. She did this with my beloved stuffed animals too: stitched the necks, fixed eyes, and spot-cleaned messes. Each cleaning and patch job was an act of love and care.
A friend of mine has a daughter close in age to Olivia. I have watched Olivia’s friendship with her daughter grow over the years. We were recently at their home when I recognized the puppy in the corner. It was her daughter’s special stuffed puppy. I’ve seen her carry it around in her arms since she was little. It too looked a little worn, like Baa Baa. I smiled, because I know that means it’s been loved on over these short few years.
It was special for me to witness Baa Baa going from another new toy to a special object that offers security to my daughter.
A scene that always gets me is in Toy Story 2. The scene is of a little girl outgrowing her favorite toy and donating the toy, named Jessie. The song “When She Loved Me” by Sarah McLachlan plays in the background, as Jessie reflects on the special times they had playing together before her owner outgrew her.
I know that day will come. Baa Baa will no longer be wrapped tight under my daughter’s arm.
Toys can be so fleeting. Toys can be a source of frustration for parents and clutter homes. However, they truly can be special to our children. Some toys are “chosen” for one reason or another. They become a staple in our child’s life. They get stored in boxes in their homes as adults because even though they aren’t in play mode anymore, they are still truly special objects that bring a source of comfort and joy. I will tend to her special lovey with care because I know it’s a source of comfort to her, and that is a comfort to me.